Most of us tend to react to suffering in one of two unhelpful ways.

When it is behind us we say ‘I am thankful that is over.’ But, unfortunately, the initial spiritual impression it made on us may quickly fade. We thought we had learned important lessons about ourselves and about the Lord–but we drift back into the same old routines.

On the other hand, suffering can be such a a difficult experience for us that we allow ourselves to be defined by it, even fixated on it. We cannot (and will not) let it go–and so it does not let us go. Our loss, our disappointment, or some other experience of suffering, then negatively affects and even determines our lives for years to come. We feed our minds and emotions on it until they become poisoned with a spirit of bitterness; we become spiritually warped because we have not been able to cope with our suffering, disappointment, or loss. Forgetfulness on the one hand, and fixation on the other thus stunt spiritual growth.